Manifest Destiny and the Mexican-American War

 
 
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Sunderland-Polished Draft
5/23/2010 07:09:09 am

-Overall, a real nice draft. Some suggestions though...

-Thesis statement too long. It is more of an introductory paragraph than a thesis statment. Fix that.

-Make "previous" and "next" links more meaningful. "Back to..." and "Next to..."

-Page Titles need to be more explicitly connected to theme

-Each page should have a topic sentence

-Images should have captions that help viewer know the point of the image

-Some images are too small

-Text very small.

-Too texty. Only complete sentences should be the thesis statement and each page's topic sentence. Other writing you do should be phrases and bullets.

-War Reactions needs more organization and structure. Subheadings for different groups

-Quotes need to be more obviously distinct of your text. Different font style, size or color

-Overall, nice work. 46/50

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For the record:
12/27/2010 10:25:55 am

You didn't unhide your feedback blog so I'm emailing my assessment of your website.
 
Very nice work.  Your thorough research is clearly expressed in a sophisticated and complex argument.  Your treatment is quite comprehensive.  There is room for improvement in a couple places.  First, connection to theme is not as tight and explicit as it should be.  The viewer has to make most of the connections.  Second, it is very texty.  Some images are helpful but the viewer is primarily reading the argument instead of seeing it.  Presentation issues aside, you did a very nice job.
 
96/100
 
Sunderland

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